father forgive me for i have sinned

hey. good morning! halfway through my pile of coffee... sitting in a vintage Britney Oops! tour teeshirt & feeling pretty excited. im off of work again today!
I spent all last night making my own personalized dvd for Madonna's sticky and sweet tour. i got the HD rip from the SKY1 broadcast and i spent all night designing the dvd menus so that they'd be pretty. I was supposed to go visit my friend but my sister prevented that from happening. Thats the worst thing about coming home for the summer, I have to put up with her even though i tried in every way possible to cut her out of my life. I guess blood is actually thicker than water.
Did you ever just feel like everyone was against you. thats how im feeling right now. I feel as if my bestie takes me for granted, majorly.I feel like my online friend don't care enough about me anymore. I feel like my sister is a jealous queen and my parents are in the dumps. so, everything just sort of sucks at the moment. I feel sort of stuck in a rut. its like, i cant officially escape until in done my undergrad. Then i'll have legit reason to leave everything behind.
for one i realize that im going to have to move somewhere where there's a lot more people. Nova Scotia, especially in my neck of the woods, isnt right for me at this time in my life. Although its a beautiful and quiet place.
Anyways.. i guess im off to find something better to do with my time this morning. Maybe go to the gym, also known as my basement.

You Must Love Me

Wow.. its morning.. well, its 10. Coffee has been made and its my day off. Started tragically. My dad got upset with me for using his credit card much more than he intended me to. Which i feel bad for. Im 21 and shouldnt be doing this to my dad... how very senior year of me, Its just easier for all parties involved.
Summer so far has been tragic though. The weather in Nova Scotia sucks. Its always windy or cold... the only good tanning days are the days you can go to your local tanning beds. Aha.
I just finished watching a video of Madonna cry because of the accident that happened during the setup of one of her shows. Two men, both by the name of Charles, died. More info
Tragic. Hard to watch the queen in tears.
Speaking of queen... whats up with Perez calling Lady Gaga the new princess of pop. Doesnt he realize that my bb Brit is just getting started. Shes on a massive world tour and owning. Lady Gaga is the Joker of pop. She's only entertaining the royals.

STFU Perez! His ass is so lame anyways.. he doesnt even write his own entries. I loved it when he faced drama with a derogatory slur while a heated argument in Toronto after the MMVA's. I loved this because it showed the true monster he was, his true colors. I was hoping he'd be boycotted forever... obviously the whole thing blew over which is ridiculous. He is a hateful human being and this is probably the last time im going to be talking about him.
On a higher note... a new Pharell track just leaked. The dude from n.e.r.d. called 'despicable me' but it sounds like its looped. who knows. either way, he is sooo cute. just the cutest. I saw photo's of him chillin with Kanye last week.

They seem cute. I have no idea why Kanye is dating that Amber person, especially after the whole Chris Brown kisses at diddys white party.


i mean.. they seemed to be together at the BET awards...
Drop that hoe. Although i find her stunning, and totally Kanye's type... i mean, from what i've seen of him. Whatever, maybe they have a 'special' relationship, right?

they look awesome together... she must be the greatest accessory EVER! aha.. you know im right.
Either way. I have a new obsession. He is GORGEOUS! eff.
his personal website is http://avanjogia.com/ so im guessing is name is Avan which is a gorgeous name to begin with. either way, look at this young lamb...

wow. stunner. oh.. he's always with that girl from Zoey 101 which is funny.. she looks like his sister... he better not be dating her... so restricted at such a young age. He needs to be out there. Stay far away from disney, buddy. you could make it big and own some of your dignity at the same time. The point is, i thought i'd share. enjoy.

Coming back, looking delicious.

Wow... long, long year. Im back though. SO excited bbz. Its been forever. I havent forgotten about you. I had a wonderful academic year. Im now going to be in my fourth year university. Ahh! :) Excellent roommate last year. She was adorable, so was her boyfriend. Im totally excited to start school again. Right now im home for the summer. Im loving it so far. Mom moved out of the house.. she finally left dad. Luckily she only moved into our apartments next door, which we own so it isnt really that big of a deal. I guess it could have been a lot worst. Im working my old tourist bureau job that i had for the last four years. Moved to Halifax in the beginning of last summer was the biggest mistake i have ever made in my life. I quickly moved home on june 12th and never looked back. I've been much happier ever since. My two besties are doing great. Im really close to one.. she's amazing and im so lucky to have her although her decisions arent always first rate, im sure she'll work on that. Right now its 3 am... My little 8 year old shih tzu is sleeping on the floor because shes totally mad that i stayed up this late. Usually she waits for me in bed until about 1:30AM and thens hes over it. God love her. Cant wait for the Louis Vuitton winter pieces btw. The new Damier Graphite winter collection looks stunning. Ahh. Looking forward to it. I got to see Britney Spears in March. It was a total dream come true. My girls and a friend all went to Montreal for the weekend to shop and see her. Greatest time ever. Love her. She's back bitches. Madonna's new sticky and sweet tour is a total pleasure of mine I downloaded the high definition rip of it yesterday and have been hooked ever since. It totally gets me pumped. Last summer i had a total eating disorder. I got rid of it when i got home, thankfully but at that point i had gotten quite thin. This year is my graduation/ring ceremony. I'm totally loving this look...

...and im almost positive thats the look im going for come december. So excited for the x-ring. Im thinking white gold. I wish i could make dad buy me a Cartier ring instead.
Im also loving Louis Vuittons monogramouflage trellis... but i cant seem to find it anywheres... that entire collection was limited edition though. Hopefully one day one comes around.

Michael Jackson is dead btw. I was him for halloween last year. I bought a genuine leather vintage thriller jacket off of ebay and loved it. such a fun halloween... but i cant believe he's gone. totally loved him all my life and always supported him. Rest in peace King.
okay, so its late and i should be getting to bed for real this time. Night!

Monsieur Beaubourg

HAHAHA.. i bought it!
.
I named it Edward. aha. go figure.

in moderation.

ugh.. i hate this. i hate halifax. i find it boring and lame. i find the people predictable and its bothering me.
im bored bored. i miss my girls. i hate that we're so spread out.
i found something that i love though. Its the new louis vuitton beaubourg bag... in which i hope to purchase before the end of the summer. i cant go through next year without it, its gorgeous.
I stayed in this house all day.. except to get out for about 5 to run to Pete's Frootique's before it closed. I'll probably go out this weekend. I dont really want to. i feel more like im only going out to let people know that im actually doing something up here. I dont have a job... but i dont really want one... here. I want to just go home next month and have my old tourist bureau job again... or maybe even the C@P job.. and then be reunited with my poor jessie.. whose had to stay home all this time without me in bed with her.. that pitiful dog. Jessie's my shih tzu btw. Im obsessed with her.. shes the shit.

i feel as if i only came here to find a relay... or a boy... a companion? but once here i realized that they'll eventually find me. I have two great loves with my girlfriends and i have Jessie who i've left at home because i thought i had to be here.
Well its ten... i opted out of my movie night with kendra for this... so my rules for tonight is read as much as i can and do my best to stay away from all food until tomorrow.
& i think Ellen is a repeat.. again!

Be Careful What You Wish For Cuz You Just Might Get It

Heyy! its almost June... but summer has yet to officially begin.
currently i am home, sitting in my bed with Jessie. I've been here since last monday and i already hate it. I moved to the city for the summer... well... it isnt really a big city... but at least its considered one around here. American Idol finished up too, David Cook took home the prize. Plus i got my marks back... and i was a little disappointed, i did poorly in french and in religious studies but i can work on them next year. Ellen is on in 5. I love watching daytime tv.. it makes my life. oh... plus im trying to gain weight. I know, it sounds crazy for me... but i seen pictures of myself and find myself much too sickly skinny. its pretty disturbing. so lately i've been eating lots. lots of peanut butter and chicken and banana's and stuff. and working out in hopes to becoming solid. Its sort of working so far. no complaints.


Sex and the City movie comes out soon. Im insanely excited for it, its retarded. It looks as if its going to be so good. apparently one of the main characters die in the film. I heard speculation that its Samantha... in im convinced that its Mr. Big. The shoes, dresses, and belts in the film is enough to make all the gays go see it and make it come in 1rst. That doesnt even include the single life woman, the mothers, and the younger generation whose been influenced by the shows themes and lifestyle. I personally think its going to be an excellent movie. I've heard that it had received negative reviews but im guessing its straight men who had written them. thats the only group of people the show doesn't cater to.
Okay, Looks like Ellen is about to start so i leave you with this for now.

My Diet

Hollywoods black book of diet secrets = amazing book... seen it on Ellen, a segment on how to take care of your skin (first book about beauty secrets) and it really made me get into it. from reading, what i learned is.
vinegar kills appetite.
lemons are good to cut through fat
eggs whites = great protein.
oatmeal in the morning = fat burner throughout the day.
benefiber = helps your life, and your pant size.

there were many more things in which i picked up on but im forgetting to mention them at the moment... I'm very conscious of my weight although sometimes i feel as if it doesn't show...
yeah, i would say im pretty skinny though.. skinnier than the average joe.

right now im currently watching 'The View' a show in which i love to watch on weekdays and boiling three eggs.. this way i find it easier to remove the yolk...

im also a huge fan of peanut butter... lots of fat but good fat and protein.. i melt a couple tbs in the microwave and add benefiber. its a great treat.

also frozen fruits is something im completely obsessed with eating... especially frozen mixed berries... they stain my teeth but blueberries have amazing antitoxins that help your blood vessels. Frozen grapes are also an amazing treat for when i get hunger pains.

Another thing i'll do in the day is drink a protein shake... mixed only 1 scoop... because your body will only absorb what it needs and the rest will be executed. some powders offer 40g of protein which is a little much for someone who is not weightlifting or trying hard to build huge muscle mass. I'll mix my cup with half water and half skimmed milk... to avoid the carbs... but they are good carbs and great protein in the milk too.

Yogurt is another thing in which i suggest having and when youre out to lunch with the girls... garden salad, no dressing but vinegar on the side... or even spinach salad!

when drinking... diet pop... and vodka. drink little.
also chardonnay or semillon ... white wine has less calories than red although red is better for you plus the dryer the wine, the fewer the calories.

so holla at yo gurl, and ch'yo homebody and at your perfect beach body. ;)